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Episode Title: "To Love a Patty"

Episode Airing Number: 95

Episode Production Number: 87

Original Airdate: July 26, 2007

Season: 5

On DVD: "Season 5, Vol. 1", "To Love a Patty"

On VHS: (none)

Aired With Episode: "Breath of Fresh Squidward"

Running Time: 10:53

Storyboard Directors: Casey Alexander and Zeus Cervas

Writers: Casey Alexander, Zeus Cervas and Eric Shaw

Creative Director: Vincent Waller

Animation Director: Andrew Overtoom

Supervising Producer: Paul Tibbitt

In Brief: SpongeBob falls in love with the perfect Krabby Patty.

Story: SpongeBob sings as he prepares Krabby Patties in the kitchen. He uses his spatula as a drum stick. He flips all the patties into the air and uses a gadget on the helmet he's wearing to squirt ketchup and mustard onto them. He says he's never seen such a lovely group of patties. One paticular patty catches his eye. Squidward tells SpongeBob he needs his order of six patties. He gives them to Squidward but only hands him five and hides his favorite. He nervously tells Squidward that's the whole order and that he doesn't have one behind his back or anything. SpongeBob decides that his job must come first and he can't let emotion cloud his commitment to the sacred frycook oath: "That which is fired, must be eaten." Squidward comes in to find out what happened to the other patty. SpongeBob looks out the kitchen door at three muscular guys sitting at a table. Two of them are eating patties while the third doesn't have one. He asks where his Krabby Patty is. Squidward hands him SpongeBob's patty. Before he takes a bite a tear comes from it. SpongeBob screams and grabs the patty from him before he can take a bite.

SpongeBob runs into the kitchen and hides under the grill. Squidward comes in to look for him. SpongeBob tells the patty he won't let them eat her and that her beauty must be preserved. Squidward sarcastically asks him if he's gonna put a dress on her and take her for a romantic walk. SpongeBob says that's a great idea and runs off. Squidward sighs and wonders if it's too late to get a refund from his therapist. SpongeBob gives a Krabby Patty to the customer. He asks if he can eat this one and lifts up the bun to reveal a shoe. He asks how they knew and says that he loves grilled shoe. At SpongeBob's house Patty is cooking on the stove. SpongeBob tells her that when they're together it's like they're in their own little world and nothing can hurt them. There's an explosion and a fire starts. SpongeBob yells and starts to panic. Gary puts it out with a fire extinguisher. SpongeBob tells Patty that it's okay and the fire is out. The doorbell rings. It's Patrick who came to play tie your best buddy in knots. He lifts SpongeBob up and does so. Then Patrick lays down on the ground and asks SpongeBob to do the same to him. SpongeBob tells him that he's already made plans to walk through Jellyfish Fields with Patty. He says as soon as the little lady dries her hair they're heading out. Sandy karate chops the door open. She asks him if he forgot about their plans for karate choppin'. He tells her that after their walk they're going for a rowboat ride. Sandy tells him that patties are put in the water for eating, not for beboppin' all over Timbuktu. SpongeBob tells Patrick and Sandy to have fun and leaves with Patty. Patrick is upset that he's been replaced by a sandwich.

SpongeBob dances with Patty and sings her a song. SpongeBob tells Patty it's their 6 hour anniversary and they will celebrate by going to the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs asks Squidward where SpongeBob is. He says he's been gone all day and they got a crowd of hungry customers waiting. Squidward says how should he know cause he's not an idiot's keeper. SpongeBob enters wearing a tuxedo. Mr. Krabs asks whats up with the fancy getup. He says he's gussied up for a special dinner date. Mr. Krabs says he didn't know SpongeBob had it in him and asks when he can meet the little lady and if she's rich. SpongeBob tells him she's rich in taste. Squidward asks how SpongeBob could possibly date anyone and says she must be blind. A limousine pulls up. Mr. Krabs says he can smell the money already. SpongeBob carries in Patty. He walks by a couple eating and they smell the odor coming from Patty (who is really starting to go bad!). The female customer thinks the smell is coming from her husband. SpongeBob introduces Patty to Squidward and Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs whispers to Squidward that he thinks the boy has really lost it. Squidward asks what that putrid odor is. Mr. Krabs wants to know what SpongeBob's doing with that rotten piece of meat but SpongeBob tells him that she's not a rotten piece of meat. SpongeBob asks Mr. Krabs if they could get the "manager's treatment." Mr. Krabs refuses at first but allows it after SpongeBob slips him a five. SpongeBob takes out a tiny throne for Patty. He asks Squidward what's on the menu but he tells SpongeBob he should already know cause he works there. Squidward tells SpongeBob to get rid of that piece of garbage (talking about Patty). He tells Squidward Pattie's just a little sick. Squidward picks up Patty and holds her up to SpongeBob to show him the worms and maggets coming out of it. SpongeBob asks what happened to it. Mr. Krabs tells a story of how he loved a patty just like SpongeBob's and that she looked good enough to eat, so he did. He tells SpongeBob that patties are meant to be loved and eaten. SpongeBob jumps up on the table and eats Patty. Mr. Krabs says as a reward he'll give SpongeBob the employee discount of 25 cents for the patty. SpongeBob asks for a doggy bag to go with that.

Song: "Oh, Baby"

Oh, baby

They may call me a fool

But I can't help our gravitational pull

When I stuff you with cotton candy

It reminds me you're so sweet

when we go riding, it's dandy

The way you hang on to that seat


When I'm with you our love is stronger than glue (oh baby!)

There isn't anything

There's nothing in the world, I wouldn't do for you

Patty, you ok, sweetums?

I'm so...sorry

I'll never let you out of my sight again

And I'll always keep you out of harm's way...

Oh baby

Our love is so strong

That's why I'm singing this song


Your looks are sweeter than honey

From your pickles to your buns

It ain't even funny

All better

Oh baby


Customer: Where's my Krabby Patty!?

Squidward: Right here, muscleboy.

Customer: It's about time. *before he takes a bite the patty sheds a tear*

SpongeBob: *screams and takes patty* I won't let you do this to Patty.

Squidward: SpongeBob, hand over the Krabby...

SpongeBob: *SpongeBob sits under the grill* Oh, Patty, I can't let them eat you. Your beauty must be preserved.

Squidward: What are you gonna do with it, take it home? Put a little dress on her? Go out for a romantic walk with it?

SpongeBob: Great idea! *runs off*

Squidward: *sighs* I wonder if it's too late to get a refund from my therapist.

SpongeBob: Yeah, what is that smell? *gasps* Patty? *drops Patty on the table* What happened to you?

Mr. Krabs: I think I can explain, boy. There was a time when I was in love, too. She was a Krabby Patty that looked a lot like yours does. Well, maybe not right now, but you know what I mean. She was a firm, juicy, a warm patty. And attractive- oh, she looked good enough to eat. So...I did. Do you hear what I'm sayin' to you, boy?

SpongeBob: Um, not quite, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: Krabby Patties are meant to be loved and eaten. That's what they're put in the ocean for. And it looks like yours is way past due.

SpongeBob: I see now. I see what I must do. *jumps up on the table* Oh, Patty, my darling. Before I do this, I want you to know that I only do it out of love. *eats the patty*

Mr. Krabs: Well done, boy. As a reward for your valiant effort, I'll only charge you 25 cents for the patty. Employee discount.

SpongeBob: Can I get a doggy bag with that?


Nasty Patty The nasty closeup of Patty when she's gone bad is similar to previous shots in "Nasty Patty" and "The Algea's Always Greener".

Big Muscular Customer The big muscular customer who SpongeBob stops from eating Patty is the same guy who beats Squidward up in a couple different episodes (most recently "Boating Buddies").

Carnival SpongeBob takes Patty to the same carnival him and Patrick went to in "Valentine's Day".

Attacking Scallops!? SpongeBob took care of and raised a scallop in "Rock-a-Bye Bivalve" but in this episode he attacks them.