Episode Airing Number: 88

Episode Production Number: 89b

Original Airdate: February 19, 2007

Season: 5

On DVD: "Season 5, Vol. 1", "Atlantis SquarePantis"

On VHS: (none)

Aired With Episodes: "The Krusty Sponge"

Running Time: 10:56

Storyboard Directors: Luke Brookshier and Tom King

Writers: Luke Brookshier, Tom King and Steven Banks

Creative Director: Vincent Waller

Animation Director: Alan Smart

Supervising Producer: Paul Tibbitt

In Brief: Patrick writes a song and tries to get it played on the radio.

Story: Patrick is reading a comic in the comic book store. He screams, starts crying, stops and starts laughing. Patrick eats the comic book. SpongeBob walks up to him with a huge stack of comics and asks him if he's ready to go. Patrick thinks the comic books are talking and he's scared. He burps and a piece of paper flies in SpongeBob's face. It's an ad. SpongeBob reads it to Patrick. It says there's a contest where you can get your poem turned into a hit song on the radio, just send in $100. Patrick tells SpongeBob he wants to send in a poem and it'll be a hit and he will be a star. SpongeBob tells him you can't always trust ads in comic books. His wallet falls out and SpongeBob struggles to pick it up. Patrick picks it up and takes $100 out of it. He says it's a sign that he should write a poem. SpongeBob's arms fall off from holding the heavy comics. The clerk asks him if he's paying for the comics. He says no and gets kicked out.

Patrick tells SpongeBob he wishes not to be disturbed because he is about to erupt with a masterpiece. SpongeBob wishes him good luck and closes his door. His doorbells rings. Patrick asks SpongeBob for a pencil, and paper and a place to work. Patrick sits at SpongeBob's desk. He thinks his pencil is broken because it won't make words but SpongeBob explains to him he has to think of the words himself. Patrick thinks back to when he was in school in gym class. He recited a poem for the class who all threw dodgeballs at him. The gym teacher yells at Patrick and tells him this is gym class. SpongeBob's shadow enters the room, who appears to be holding a dodgeball. Patrick is terrified until he realizes it's just Gary. He tells SpongeBob the story of about when he was in gym class. SpongeBob tells him he doesn't even own a dodgeball and even asks Gary if he has one. Patrick exclaims that he is serious about this and is even gonna use his brain. Patrick struggles and hits his head with the pencil trying to think. His brain finally starts working and the smoke starts coming out. SpongeBob knocks on the door and tells Patrick not to strain himself. Squidward shouts out the window about Patrick's fumes saying that it smells like something crawled into his brain and died. Patrick explains it's the creative process at work. He holds up a letter with his poem in it and says he's ready to mail his masterpiece.

The next day, at Bigshot Records a band is recording all the contest entries that have been sent in. The band manager tells them they have 17 more songs to finish in an hour. The next song is Patrick's (called "I Wrote This"). They have to hold their noses because the poem stinks so bad. One guys eyes completely disappear. The manager explains to them that they've spent Patrick's $100 already and have to record his song no matter how bad it is. One of the guitarist says that they'll do it even if it kills them. At the cemetary it shows the four of them buried. The cemetary manager hands Patrick his song and tells him they wanted him to have it. At SpongeBob's house they prepare to listen to it. Patrick tells SpongeBob to sit down and get comfortable. He pushes a huge stereo in front of him. Patrick gets on top of the stereo and yells through a loudspeaker. He jumps off onto the chair and turns on the music. SpongeBob covers his ears and tells Patrick to turn it down some but he just turns it up even louder. As the song ends SpongeBob's house peels and the stereo falls on top of them. Patrick asks SpongeBob for his complete and honest opinion about the song. SpongeBob tells him it was the best song he's ever heard and that he needs to get the song on the radio. Patrick tells him to come on and snatches his arm off.

SpongeBob and Patrick arrive at the radio station. They go inside but an employee screams and kicks them out. SpongeBob gets an idea. They climb to the top of the radio tower with Patrick on SpongeBob's shoulders. When they reach the top Patrick stands on SpongeBob's face, slowly chews gum and sticks the record player on top and turns on the music. Everybody hates the song so much it causes major chaos (even boat crashes and pilots to jump out of their airplane). The only one who likes it is Old Man Jenkins. SpongeBob thinks Bikini Bottom is throwing a party. Everyone forms an angry mob and heads for the radio station. They asks who is resposible for the song. SpongeBob and Patrick jump off the roof and SpongeBob informs him it's Patrick's song. They start them but SpongeBob and Patrick start to play musical instruments and a chainsaw like crazy. Patrick tells them it was his new song called "Argh". The people actually think it's not that bad because it got the first song out of their heads. Patrick starts to play the first song on his guitar. His old gym teacher shows up and tells his students to throw dodgeballs at SpongeBob and Patrick, who take cover.

Song: "Twinkle, Twinkle Patrick Star (I Wrote This)"

Twinkle, Twinkle Patrick Star

I made myself a sandwich

My mommy named it fred

It tastes like beans and bacon

And smells like it's been dead

Writing stuff is hard

so I use a pointy Pencil

Pointy, Pointy, Pointy, Pointy, Pointy, Point!

P.U. what's that Horrible Smell?

Drum Solo!

I have a head,

It ends in a point

Pointy, Pointy, Pointy, Pointy, Pointy, Point.

This song is over,

except for this line,

You win this round,

Broccoli!

Quotes:

SpongeBob: *using announcer voice* Have you ever thought about turning one of your poems into a hit song on the radio?

Patrick: I've never thought about anything.

SpongeBob: Send in your poem and $100 and we'll make it a hit! *uses regular tone of voice again* Can we go, now? My arms are getting tired.

Patrick: I want to send in a poem and everyone would love it, and I would be a star!

SpongeBob: You can't always trust ads in comic books. Those X-Ray specs I ordered couldn't see through people's skin at all, only their clothes. Plus, you don't have $100. *SpongeBob's wallet falls out and he struggles to pick it up* Patrick, could you get my wallet?

Patrick: Hey, look. *pulls out $100 bill from SpongeBob's wallet* I just found $100! It's a sign that I should make my hit record.

SpongeBob: Hey, that's my comic book money.

Patrick: It's a sign! A sign that fell from the back of your pants. I've learned to trust signs like that.

Young Patrick: A Poem, by Patrick Star. Roses are blue, violets are red, I have to go the bathroom. *eats poem and burps*

Gym Teacher: How many times do I gotta tell you, Patrick!? THIS IS GYM CLASS!! *blows whistle and everybody throws dodgeballs at Patrick*

Observations:

Original Title The original title for this episode was "I am the Starfish" a parody of the Beatles song "I am the Walrus".

Record Company The recording studio where Patrick's song is recorded is also the record company of Ned and the Needlefish from "Wigstruck."

Family Picture While Patrick's song is playing loudly in SpongeBob's house a picture of SpongeBob's parents is shown on the wall.