Mermalair Banner


Episode Title: "Money Talks"

Episode Airing Number: 98

Episode Production Number: 88

Original Airdate: July 31, 2007

Season: 5

On DVD: "Season 5, Vol. 1", "Atlantis SquarePantis"

On VHS: (none)

Aired With Episodes: "SpongeBob vs. the Patty Gadget," "Slimy Dancing"

Running Time: 7:01

Storyboard Directors: Luke Brookshier and Tom King

Writers: Luke Brookshier, Tom King and Dani Michaeli

Creative Director: Vincent Waller

Animation Director: Alan Smart

Supervising Producer: Paul Tibbitt

In Brief: The Flying Dutchman grants Mr. Krabs a wish to be able to talk to his money.

Story: At the Krusty Krab a customer asks SpongeBob if he could have the table over by the window. He tells him as soon as soon as the present customers are done with it and shows an eldery couple sitting at the table. The old lady counts every chew the old man takes. He tells her not to rush him. The customers takes out some money and offers it to SpongeBob hoping to speed up the process. Mr. Krabs comes over and asks what the problem is. SpongeBob tells him that he told the customer he had to wait for his favorite table. He offers Mr. Krabs five bucks to get the table now. Mr. Krabs kicks the eldery couple right out the front door. SpongeBob asks Mr. Krabs why he gave the man the table and Mr. Krabs explains to him that "money talks." He tells Mr. Krabs he didn't know money could talk but Mr. Krabs replies only fish can talk. SpongeBob says he thinks it would be neat if money really could talk. This gives Mr. Krabs an idea to sing a song about money.

Later that night at Mr. Krabs' house he uses a stethoscope on his money. He then tries to shine a light on the money, hoping it'll talk. Mr. Krabs starts to cry and says he would do anything to talk to money. Suddenly, the Flying Dutchman appears. He informs Mr. Krabs he can grant his wish but it'll cost him his soul and makes him sign a contract. The Flying Dutchman takes some magic dust from his pouch and throws it in Mr. Krabs eyes, making him scream. He wakes up, thinking he was dreaming and hears a voice talking to him. He takes a nickel from his belly button who tells him he got stuck down there during his last coin shower. Mr. Krabs takes a five dollar bill out of his wallet and asks it if he has anything to say to him. He replies by asking when's the last time Mr. Krabs brushed his teeth. He's so excited he's about to sing again but the money stops him. The next day, Mr. Krabs brings the money to the Krusty Krab and tells them they'll be reunited with their friends. Squidward places a five dollar bill in the cash register and all the money says hey to each other. Mr. Krabs closes the register and chuckles. He opens his safe and takes some money and says they're coming home with him. Mr. Krabs holds out the bag of money to SpongeBob and tells him they're a riot. He thinks Mr. Krabs has gone crazy.

Back at home, Mr. Krabs is sitting on the floor with his money. He asks them if they want to tell each other secrets and invite friends over but the money is not happy. A one dollar bill asks him if they aren't for him. Mr. Krabs explains to him he thought they might want some company over to make them happy. They yell out that it would make them happy if Mr. Krabs spends them. At the mall Mr. Krabs is spending the money on rediculous things including fairy princess outfits. At Mr. Krabs house the money is continuing yelling to be spent. He tells them he can't spend all of them and none of them want to be spent on stuff that he wants. Mr. Krabs gets very upset and tells the money it's shallow and self-absorbed. He hears a knock at the door. It's SpongeBob to check to see if Mr. Krabs has really gone insane. He hands SpongeBob the bag of money and tells him to take if far away and bury it. Mr. Krabs changes his mind and quickly snatches it back. He yells for the Dutchman and tells him he was cheated and he wants the horrible curse taking away. The Flying Dutchman informs Mr. Krabs all sales are final and he's gonna put his soul in his fanny pack. Mr. Krabs explains he sold his soul already and points to a line of monsters. The Dutchman goes to the back of the line where SpongeBob is standing. SpongeBob tells him Mr. Krabs was five bucks short on pay day.

Song: "If I Could Talk to Money"

If I could talk to money,

How great my life would be.

We'd tell each other secrets,

All their friends would visit me.

I'd bathe in filthy riches,

Which is clean enough for me.

Oh, if you could tell me what you want,

How happy we would be.

We'd surely be the best of friends,

We'd never disagree.

There wouldn't be a downside,

Not one that I could see.

Squidward: No thanks.

SpongeBob: I really have to pee.

If I could talk to money,

And it could talk to me...

We'd always be the best of friends,

For all eternity...


Mr. Krabs: Whew, that was a strange dream.

Nickel: You think that was a strange dream? I dreamt I was trapped in a prison made of peanut butter.

Mr. Krabs: Who said that?

Nickel: Down here.

Mr. Krabs: Hey, it's a nickel. What were you doing in my belly button, little fella?

Nickel: I got stuck in there during your last coin shower. *shudders* I don't want to talk about it.

Mr. Krabs: Do you have anything to say to me?

Dollar: Yeah, when was the last time you brushed your teeth?

SpongeBob: Hi, Mr. Krabs. I just came by to make sure you weren't, you know, totally insane.

Mr. Krabs: Take this bag as far away as possible and bury it. *closes door then nervously chuckles* What have I done? *opens door* Give me that back! *takes the bag of money and closes door again*

SpongeBob: Okay, Mr. Krabs. Glad you're not insane.


Musical Money Numbers This is the second musical number Mr. Krabs does about money. The first is in "Selling Out".

Money Spending Money The money asked to be spent on corn dogs, lollipops, fairy princess outfits and diapers.

Bad Deal This is the second bad deal Mr. Krabs makes with the Flying Dutchman. He traded SpongeBob for pocket change in "Born Again Krabs".